Laws of Life from a email 060408
Oilstick Home Humor		Law of Mechanical Repair:   After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to   itch or you'll have to pee.     Law of the Workshop:   Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.     Law of probability:   The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the   stupidity of the act.    Law of the Telephone:   When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.   Law of the Alibi:   If you tell the boss a flat tire made you late for work,   the very next morning you will have a flat tire.     Variation Law:   If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in   will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works   every time)     Bath Theorem:   When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.    Law of Close Encounters:   The probability of meeting someone you know increases   when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.     Law of the Result:   When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it   will.     Law of Biomechanics:   The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.     Theater Rule:   At any event, people with seats furthest from the aisle, arrive   last.     Law of Coffee:   As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask   you to do something that lasts until the coffee is cold.     Murphy's Law of Lockers:   If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have   adjacent lockers.  This is also true of post office boxes.     Law of Location:   Wherever you go, There you are!     Law of Logical Argument:   Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.     Brown's Law:   If the shoe fits, it's ugly.     Oliver's Law:   A closed mouth gathers no feet.     Wilson's Law:   As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop   making it.